Mean girls and sweet girls nothing changes

So I went to my elementary school reunion and it was amazing. I was able to talk to the friend of a friend who was run over when we were in eighth grade, Amy sat next to me in Home Ec and was incredibly sweet. She used to help separate me from the dress I was making and invariably stitched to myself. I was a terrible sewer. the dress basically dissolved on my body during the fashion show. Amy was killed and her desk stayed empty for the rest of the year. I didn't talk about it. She was a new friend and anyway, my parents were busy. But this woman at my reunion had been there when the accident happened and she had been a close friend and attended the funeral. It was very healing to speak to her.

Another woman, she of the tight pants and the heavily applied makeup, was also there and just like in elementary school was in a clique-I mean who has a clique when they are sixty but sure enough she had that same crabby expression and I steered clear of her. maybe she had changed but it didn't see likely. I recall wanting to kick her in third grade and I still wanted to kick her.
However, the majority of my ex-classmates were absolutely wonderful.

I'm thinking about this because I recently discovered a friendship had gone south and of course, I blamed myself. I'm not always that tactful (no!), patient or aware of when i may be too judgmental or just plain snobby. However, I believe I have been subjected to a middle-aged version of mean girls, women who close ranks around some sense of themselves as special making sure others recognize they aren't. Why does it hurt so much at this stage of life when I have a wonderful husband, a great, adult son, all sort of positive relationships in my life, achievements, etc? I have no idea.

Maybe it has something to do with the death of my father, the current political environment, the loneliness of marriage which is a unique characteristic of that institution. One thing I know, I need to stop trying to be friends with mean girls, to care about whether they like me or not, to remember some of the other people in my life who have been there for me through my broken leg, my slow recovery, my lack of tact and who are never, ever passive aggressive, cold or cliquey. My need to please other people is another version of manipulation and Al-Anon teaches me "What other people think of you is none of your business."