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Featured first memory of surgery was an appendicitis attack at 11. The night before I was crawling around on the kitchen floor, groaning, and my mother said, "Don't drink baking soda. If it's appendicitis you will die." Then they left for a dinner party. I was about to down a full glass of the stuff when my sister said, "You shouldn't drink that. You could die." The next day I had emergency surgery-memories blur but getting shaved down there hurt my feelings terribly and I consumed about ten cookies prior to anaesthesia but didn't'get sick. Later, I broke my arm, my shoulder, my elbow, wrist and had carpal tunnel surgery, etc. And two lonely, sad, abortions where I lied about someone waiting to take me home and left the clinics grieving, but aware that a drug addled, drunk, depressed mother would not be preferable to that sad, selfish pain.

December 27, 2016 I fall down the stairs holding all our bags attempting to escape my mom's house with…

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